Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
