I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
