WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
