Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
