Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
