I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
