Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
