did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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