Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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