Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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