so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
