glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
