My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
