Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
