If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
