It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
