is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
being pregnant is like rehab
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
