Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
