so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
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