Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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