oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
did i walk over a car last night?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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