Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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