My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
