winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize