we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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