he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
