Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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