Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
