I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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