she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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