she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
