Kiss
Puke
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
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