Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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