to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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