just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
