Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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