There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
