is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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