I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
