I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
