I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
