I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just high enough for therapy.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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