Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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