he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
