so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
