My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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