remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
