so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
