My friends, they love my intelligence
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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