lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
he thought i was a dude.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
