i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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