Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
